WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
