What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
