How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I could make wine with my vomit
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Panties = found
Randomize
