I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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