Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My ass is underappreciated
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
