Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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