just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
