walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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