Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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