Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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