she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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