Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
