I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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