i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
