It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
