tell your sister to shave her snatch
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
