nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
