hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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