i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
