So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
