We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
