Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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