Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
