he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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