margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
