That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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