I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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