And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
