so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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