I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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