is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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