I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
