i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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