I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
