i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Such a big mess for such a small penis
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
