still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
