So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
