I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
