ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
