i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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