Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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