I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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