My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
