You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
