If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
