Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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