my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize
