Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
