Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Can i not drive my cunt home
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
