then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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