Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
