Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
